The Army Sucks: A Dialogue, by Me.

Me:  Hey Army, is it alright if I drive 366 miles on the four-day Thanksgiving weekend to visit some friends for the holiday, so I'm not stuck here by myself without a good dinner?  I've been working pretty hard, haven't gotten into any trouble, and I don't think it would be too much to ask.

Army:  Certainly, that sounds like a good idea.  Take some much deserved time off.  Afterall, what's the harm?  You have four days off anyway, why not drive a few hours away to visit friends?

Me:  Gee, thanks.

     * * * Two Weeks Later * * *

Army:  Guess what!  We've decided to send you to Texas for a couple weeks, starting the weekend after Thanksgiving, to help with some training.  Whaddya think?

Me:  Ok, that's cool I guess.  I might have to cut a day off my planned and approved trip, but that's ok.  It's always fun to go on TDY and get a little extra money, right?  Sure, I'm in... not that I would have a choice anyway, right?  He he he.

* * * Tuesday Before Thanksgiving * * *

Army:  Guess what!  This is great- we got your flight moved a day early.  So now, you'll be leaving the day after Thanksgiving!  Isn't that wonderful news?!?  Flight's at 4 PM, and don't forget to get there a couple hours early.

Me:  Um, that sucks.  Why are we leaving earlier than planned?

Army:  Because the unit wants to get a head start on the training, so you guys will be able to start the training on Saturday, their day off.

Me: So, sounds like we'll be flying in friday, working saturday thru friday, have off the following saturday, and then working the rest of the week.  Ok.  Do I go through with my plans to drive to North Carolina, even though I'd get there late Wednesday night and have to leave again very early Friday morning?

* * * TO BE CONTINUED * * *

Loading Planes

I spent a couple nights last week loading Air Force planes for our guys who are heading over to Iraq.  Boy, what a cluster-f#ck.  Now, you have to understand, the 224th MI BN has never, to my knowledge, been trained on how to properly load a C-5 or C-17.  I know I haven't, at least.  None of us are qualified, especially since we would not be the ones piloting the plane, to load them ourselves.  Apparently there is all kinds of stuff you have to worry about, like getting the weight evenly distributed across the plane, and strapping and chaining the cargo down.  So we were at the mercy of the Air Force.  What I mean by that is, we were told to meet on the flight line at 1600, and the load masters would arrive around 1630.  We'd have the planes loaded by around 2000, and they'd be ready to take off by 2030.  1730- still no sign of the load masters.  The guy in charge of us tells us to go grab some food, but be back by 1800.  1800- still no load masters.  1900- still waiting.  Sometime around 2000 they show up, ready to go.  All of a sudden, it becomes "rush, rush, rush," and we start loading.  Hours pass, and I think around 0030 or 0100 we finish up.  Lots of hard work, but we finish.  It's not so bad.  That was day one.  Day two of loading goes similarly, except we don't meet until 1800.  We start around 1830, maybe 1900.  Things go alright, though for some reason this Air Force crew wants to do most of the work themselves.  We help out, but they don't seem to trust us.  I don't know why.  Maybe they got word from the first plane that left a couple nights earlier that the cargo wasn't strapped down right and the plane crashed.  Who knows.  But, as with all things military, things started falling apart.  At some point, about half-way through loading, right when things seemed to be going well, someone discovers a slightly flat tire.  Slightly.  And it was on this giant green box with wheels that is the worst part of loading these planes.  I don't know what the heck this thing is, but it's heavy, enormous, and hard to move.  It was carted up to the ramp of the plane before the flat tire was spotted, so we had to wait around for someone to come up with an air pump.  We found one, eventually, but it didn't work.  Or something.  I don't know.  I don't know, because a few of us left while they were still trying to figure it out.  We decided to try to get something else done while everyone was standing around thinking.  At some point while we were gone, they got the big green box loaded onto the plane, and by the time my group got back, there were only a few things left to deal with.  We finished right around midnight.  And I went straight to bed.  Anyway, here are a few photos I snapped with my phone.